Friends - chunks

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There's nothing to tell!, He's just some guy, I work with.
sākt mācīties
There's nothing to tell!, He's just some guy, I work with.
C'mon, you're going out with the guy!
sākt mācīties
C'mon, you're going out with the guy!
There's gotta be something wrong with him!
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There's gotta be something wrong with him!
All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?.
sākt mācīties
All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?.
Wait, does he eat chalk?
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Wait, does he eat chalk?
(They all stare, bemused.)
sākt mācīties
(They all stare, bemused.)
Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date.
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Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date.
It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
sākt mācīties
It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Sounds like a date to me.
sākt mācīties
Sounds like a date to me.
Alright, so I'm back in high school,
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Alright, so I'm back in high school,
I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria,
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I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria,
and I realize I am totally naked.
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and I realize I am totally naked.
Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
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Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.
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Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.
Instead of...?
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Instead of...?
That's right.
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That's right.
Never had that dream.
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Never had that dream.
All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring.
sākt mācīties
All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring.
Now, I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
sākt mācīties
Now, I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
And they weren't looking at you before?!
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And they weren't looking at you before?!
Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother,
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Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother,
which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
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which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
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This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Are you okay, sweetie?
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Are you okay, sweetie?
I just feel like someone reached down my throat,
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I just feel like someone reached down my throat,
grabbed my small intestine,
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grabbed my small intestine,
pulled it out of my mouth
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pulled it out of my mouth
and tied it around my neck.
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and tied it around my neck.
Cookie?
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Cookie?
Carol moved her stuff out today.
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Carol moved her stuff out today.
Let me get you some coffee.
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Let me get you some coffee.
Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
sākt mācīties
Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?
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No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?
Fine! Be murky!
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Fine! Be murky!
I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone.
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I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone.
I hope she'll be very happy.
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I hope she'll be very happy.
No you don't.
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No you don't.
No I don't. to hell with her, she left me!
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No I don't. to hell with her, she left me!
And you never knew she was a lesbian...
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And you never knew she was a lesbian...
No!!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that?
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No!!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that?
She didn't know, how should I know?
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She didn't know, how should I know?
Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian...
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Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian...
(They all stare at him.)
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They all stare at him.)
Did I say that out loud?
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Did I say that out loud?
I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
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I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman sobbing at 3:00 A.M.
sākt mācīties
Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman sobbing at 3:00 A.M.
I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren. was what? A wrong number?
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I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren. was what? A wrong number?
Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now.
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Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now.
You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
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You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Ross gestures his consent.
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Ross gestures his consent.
Strip joint!. (striptease).
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Strip joint!. (striptease).
C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
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C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
I don't want to be single, okay?.
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I don't want to be single, okay?.
I just wanna be married again!
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I just wanna be married again!
Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through
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Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through
what I went through with Carl.
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what I went through with Carl.

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