QUESTIONS: Really bad jokes

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Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
sākt mācīties
Because most men are stupid but few are blind.
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
sākt mācīties
A stick.
What is the best definition of a mixed emotion?
sākt mācīties
Watching the mother-in-law reverse off a cliff driving your brand new car.
Why is divorce so expensive?
sākt mācīties
Because it's worth it.
How many selfish people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
sākt mācīties
Only one, the world revolves around them.
What is another name for female Viagra?
sākt mācīties
A Diamond.
How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
sākt mācīties
Easily, concrete floors are very hard to crack!
If you had 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand and 4 pears and 3 pineapples in the other hand, what would you have?
sākt mācīties
Very large hands.
How can a man go eight days without sleep?
sākt mācīties
He sleeps at night.
Why it is impossible to send a telegram to Washington today?
sākt mācīties
Because he’s dead.
Why did a confused woman stare at a carton of apple juice for 20 minutes?
sākt mācīties
Because it said “Concentrate” on the side of the carton.
Why does nobody eat clowns?
sākt mācīties
Because they taste funny.
Why did the room packed with married people seem empty?
sākt mācīties
Because there wasn't a single person there.
What do people in prison use to communicate with each other?
sākt mācīties
Cell phones
What is the longest sentence that a man knows?
sākt mācīties
I do.
What would you have if you crossed a panther with a burger?
sākt mācīties
Really fast food.
Why do traffic lights rarely go swimming?
sākt mācīties
Because they take much too long to change.
Why is it that birds fly southwards for the winter?
sākt mācīties
Because it’s much too far to walk.
What falls regularly though never gets hurt?
sākt mācīties
Rain.
Why is it that people always walk whenever they play the bagpipes?
sākt mācīties
Even they are attempting to get away from that awful noise.
Why do you never see elephants hiding up in trees?
sākt mācīties
Because they’re really good at it.
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
sākt mācīties
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
What do a green apple and a red apple have in common?
sākt mācīties
They’re both red except for the green one.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
sākt mācīties
Between you and me, something smells.
Which is the most curious letter?
sākt mācīties
Y.

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